It really is true what mothers say. Blink and you miss it.
How on earth did seven months go by so quickly?! I swear it was just yesterday that I was holding that brand new baby in the hospital overwhelmed by the thought of motherhood and here I am over half a year down the road celebrating mothers day myself!
Becoming a mother is a funny thing. I thought I was ready because I studied really hard. That is what I do. I research the heck out of everything I want to become good at. I read a gazillion books, asked for tons of advice, practiced what I could and prayed like crazy.
But that isn't how it works at all is it? :)
None of my "research" worked at all. I didn't really learn a thing until I was thrown into it all at once. The education starts the very first time you hold your child and doesn't stop, ever I think. Motherhood is building a relationship with your child, and learning what works, and what million things don't work. Ha! It is a big game of trial and error, and being patient with yourself and the journey.
There were so many things I hadn't planned on. I didn't know I was going to be handed such a sick baby, and one who required so much around the clock care. I didn't know that at seven months I have yet to get a full nights sleep. I didn't know that I would be so exhausted that I would literally fall into bed at night and be asleep before I could lean over and kiss Brian goodnight. I didn't know that I would spend most my days in pajamas and trying to balance the impossible.
But as time has gone on, we have learned to master a thing or two around here and along the way, I have realized that I have become a mother, and a very happy one at that. Despite the hiccups and trying times.
My mom always looked at me growing up and said that I would never know how much I was loved until I had one of my own. What a silly thing to say. Of course I know how much I am loved because I feel like I love my mom as much as she loves me. Boy was I wrong.
Everytime that child falls asleep in my arms I have to fight back the tears of love. Sometimes I don't and wake him with my deep breaths and tiny sobs. Everytime he falls asleep in his bed I wonder. Is he cold? Hot? Comfy? Happy? Dreaming sweet dreams? Are his socks too tight? Blankets warm enough? Temperature right? Am I crazy? Obsessed?
I care for him more than I ever thought was possible and I have realized my mother is right about yet another thing. I love him more than life itself and I had no idea it was possible until I had him. For once in my life I am happy to sacrifice everything I have for someone else. My sleep, food, body, time, energy, free time, money, and anything else he requires I would gladly give up just to see that smile.
Becoming a mom is the hardest most wonderful thing I have ever experienced and I am so blessed to have this chance, and to raise a child to the best of my ability. I am so thankful to the incredible mother who raised me and taught me everything I know and who is now the most incredible grandmother ever.
I sure feel blessed to spend my days with this delicious chubby mug. We are best friends. You will never know how much you are loved until you have one of your own Brody boy. Stop growing up so fast. Mom is still trying to keep up :)
Happy Mothers Day friends and fellow mums. It is the most important job you will ever do, and I am so excited I get to celebrate it this year. xoxo.
